Finding Belonging

In a world where divisions often define our experiences, it takes courage to step beyond boundaries and embrace our shared humanity.

On a recent episode of Chocolate and Coffee Breaks, I had the privilege of speaking with Bernadette Laster—an insightful speaker, teacher, and intuitive healer from Michigan, USA. Her journey is one of resilience, self-discovery, and transformation, shaped by the experience of being the first Black child to integrate into her Catholic school.

A Journey of Strength and Awareness

Bernadette’s story begins in 1964, just a month after the Civil Rights Act was passed in the United States. Despite the legal mandate for desegregation, the reality of systemic racism remained deeply entrenched. When she entered first grade, she unknowingly became the first Black student in an all-white school.

“I didn’t know I was integrating a school,” Bernadette shared. “I was just a child going to school. But I quickly learned that I was different in the eyes of others.”

Facing racial slurs and discrimination from students, teachers, and parents alike, Bernadette’s early education was shaped by challenges many of us could never imagine. Yet, amid the hostility, her mother played a crucial role in protecting and supporting her. As the school’s homeroom mother, she was always present—ensuring that her daughter had an advocate in a world determined to make her feel unwelcome.

Navigating Dual Identities

While childhood was marked by racial prejudice from one side, high school introduced a different kind of pressure. Attending a Catholic high school with both white and Black students, Bernadette found herself ostracized by Black classmates for refusing to abandon her white friends.

“I was expected to choose sides,” she said. “But why should I? Friendships should be based on connection, not skin color.”

Her experiences reinforced an essential truth: racism exists on all sides. Prejudice is not confined to one race, and dismantling these biases requires introspection, education, and open conversations.

Living in a System That Still Divides

Despite progress, Bernadette pointed out that racism remains systemic. From everyday experiences—such as restaurant servers automatically handing the check to her white companions—to the more dangerous realities Black people face in certain parts of the country, the fight for true equality continues.

“As a Black woman, I’ve always had to be mindful of where I go. Traveling alone means being aware of whether a town is safe for someone like me,” she explained. “That’s not a reality everyone has to think about.”

The tragic deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery reignited global conversations on racial injustice. These incidents, broadcasted to a world in lockdown, forced many to confront hard truths. While laws can be written, they mean little if societal consciousness doesn’t shift.

A Moment of Healing

A powerful, transformative moment occurred for Bernadette when she visited Petoskey, Michigan—a predominantly white town. Expecting to feel out of place, she was met with a surprising sight: Black Lives Matter signs displayed in store windows and a protest led by white residents advocating for racial equality.

“I had been holding my breath for 55 years,” she said. “At that moment, I exhaled. For the first time, I truly felt safe.”

It wasn’t the signs or symbols that moved her—it was the people standing up for change. Witnessing their commitment to justice, without having to be asked, affirmed that progress is happening.

Creating Change from Within

Bernadette’s story is a testament to the power of resilience, self-acceptance, and advocacy. She reminds us that true change starts in our homes, within our communities, and inside our own hearts.

“We must recognize our own biases, dismantle stereotypes, and choose to see each other as human beings,” she urged. “Silence in the face of injustice is complicity. We must all take responsibility.”

Moving Forward Together

Our conversation left me reflecting deeply on the role we all play in shaping the world. Healing requires action—whether through conversations, protests, education, or simply choosing to listen with an open heart.

If there’s one thing I hope you take from Bernadette’s journey, it’s this: the divisions we see are often illusions. When we sit together—over chocolate, coffee, or a heartfelt conversation—we realize that our differences are far smaller than the humanity we share.

Let’s continue the conversation. Share a chocolate, have a cuppa, and most importantly, take action to create a world where everyone belongs.